A LOUD CRY BEHIND THE DOORS
“Even my mother doesn’t know what kind of work I actually do!” says Dr.Prasanna Gettu. She is not a RAW agent but a criminologist who is the CEO of Chennai-based NGO PCVC, which is associated with the noble cause of rescuing and healing wounds of domestic violence victims. People accuse her of breaking marriages and families. But she stands tall like a tower- for her work is worship. No matter who says what!
The International Foundation for Crime Prevention and Victim Care (PCVC) kick-started in 2001. Prasanna recalls that before PCVC was born, there were only 4 open shelter homes for distressed women. However she says, “If you ask a middle class or upper class women to go and stay in an open shelter they’d rather be in the abusive situation than go to an open shelter,” Reflecting upon the pity state, two founders went to the U.S for training, came back and started PCVC.
PCVC aims to rebuild lives of victims with a more solution-oriented approach. Women seeking help receive crisis counseling and is given the space to vent her emotions in a more conducive environment. After which, all options available are given to her whether it is leaving her home, staying back or taking the legal course of action. If a victim has no assistance then PCVC provides for free legal advocacy.
Is there any correlation between educational qualification and committing crimes like domestic violence?
No says Prasanna. She justifies-
“When we talk about domestic violence it is all about the way we are brought up and it’s more about mindset. It depends upon your attitude, beliefs and practices that lead to violence,”
Domestic violence is a behavioral issue, not a psychological issue. It has no barriers- whether rich or poor, educated or uneducated. Anyone can be an unfortunate victim and anyone can be a potential abuser.
How to identify an abuser?
Every girl dreams of marrying her Prince Charming. But are you marrying an abusive one? Violence in a relationship stems from two things-power and control. Dr.Prasanna has an advice to give- stay alert, with eyes open not blinded in love. She says-
“Red flags are there in every sentence. But the problem is, that are the girls educated enough to understand it?”
She cites some examples where the man knows his love really wants to do something but he imposes his will and curtails her freedom.
- The boy resorts to emotional blackmail- “If you really love me you wouldn’t have worn that dress/ done that.”
- “I don’t like that friend of yours. Why can’t you stop talking to her?”
- When you hang out with your family, he tries to pull you aside and says- “No. I want to talk to you so stay back with me.”
It irks Prasanna how culture introduces misconceptions, “We bring up girls in such a way that they do not realize it falls under violence,” She continues to add-
“Something that you don’t consent to is unacceptable! We are not taught that,”
Sexual Harassment at Workplace
Women face hurdles at workplace too- threat of security tops the list of concerns. Subtle forms of abuse are the most dangerous. It is very important for working women to know the existence of legal measures which they can resort to. The Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace (Prevention, Prohibition and Redressal) Act, 2013 is one such Act which empowers working women. Prasanna says, “As per the act it is the responsibility and duty of the employer to give you a safe and healthy work environment.” She further adds, “You are there because you want to work comfortably. You have the rights to approach and tell them (HR or Internal Complaint Committee) that something makes you feel uncomfortable,”
Fault in our upbringing
Let’s face it- every woman is susceptible to some form of violence. Even well educated women are being abused because the tolerance level is much higher. Prasanna vehemently opposes the way daughters are brought up –
“We are taught to be more forgiving, more nurturing and giving up rather than standing up.”
Our Social Call
It all starts from the roots. A mother should teach her son how to respect women as a human not an object. At the same time, the problem is that many Indian parents raise their daughters as a future obedient wife and a cultured daughter-in-law. Instead every daughter should be raised like a tigresses; majestic yet fierce.
It is so important to know about such a sensitive issue. I agree boys should be taught to respect girls. It all begins at home… Article has created awareness in my mind about my rights!
Firstly, Congrats Aishwarya. This is such an important topic to be discussed. Its actually true that in a developing country like India these aspects are those that hamper the growth and the hopes of these getting better keeps dwindling . Its not about public places and homes and workplaces. Its found everywhere , we can hardly count on safe zones .
I’m really proud of you to have chosen this topic to pen your article and wish you with success always 🙂
Thanks and regards , kirthika.
Thank you dear Krithika! I’m glad your on the same page. Do stay tuned for many such informative articles.
Exceptionally well written Aishwarya. Thank you so much for bringing out such valid information. It’s become highly essential that every girl and woman has to know to defend herself and fight for herself. Self defence becomes the need of the hour.
Great job you are doing. Keep going!!
Congrats Aishwaraya! This is such a well-written and informative post. Being a women myself, I feel every other women MUST know about her rights. I love the lessons you have used in the info graph! Hopefully, women will raise their voice after reading such articles.
I love your choice of issues. And more importantly the way you bring life to the whole article ! Another exceptional work of yours … 😉 looking to forward to read more and more of your articles
A MUST-READ-ARTICLE for every woman out there…..clearly brings the current scenario to the forefront….congrats on your progress Aishwarya…..keep the good work going😃
Woah, nice work Aishu! But, yes, I agree with most of the points you discussed… Especially where you mentioned that anyone could be a victim. Even though I’m one for equal rights and not blaming the woman, I have to say, I do agree with your point where you mentioned that it is the mother’s upbringing that brings up the boy to know what is wrong and what is not. Then again, it could be that such men were basically boys who were used to receiving everything they want. So taking a no from just anyone could trigger them to hit or use any other means to get it. Same with sexual assaults right? I’m short, my opinion is that boys should be taught how to accept no from anyone just as women are taught to adjust in situations. Then again, even these lessons of adjusting taught to women should teach them to stand up when someone crosses the line.
Again, congratulations! I’ll look forward to more of your articles!
Thank you! I agree with you; when a man is always used to having what he wants, a ‘NO’ can be a big blow. That’s why ‘consent matters’ is an important lesson to learn (included in Info graph). Do stay tuned for more!
U r fighting for a good cause..
Will be der to support u!
I’m so, so proud of you love. It’s an issue which more people need to be aware of and you raising awareness for it is so, so amazing. It’s the stark reality of life that it happens and your writing could be the way we shed light on it.
Keep writing, love.
Thought provoking article Aishwarya! I appreciate that you’re re bringing more awareness to these kind of issue.
Absolutely appalled at the lack of respect towards women in this world. Truly shameful to see men behave in such base and cruel ways. Chivalry and morality seem to have reached a point of near extinction.
I see a major role, and a rather primordial one, being played by the cinema industry in this issue. No point in releasing one movie showcasing women empowerment after releasing ten movies to the opposite effect.
Really hope to see a change in the mentality of such men for the better in the days to come. Amazing efforts on your part, Aishwaraya ! This forum must and will reach high places!!
Thank you! You have raised such a valid point. Cinema industry should make movies in a socially responsible way. After all, the big screen is a powerful medium.Let’s hope we have more directors who use this medium, to bring a positive change of mindset among the common mass.
Thank you to each of our Readers! It is very encouraging to see your responses against this crime of Domestic Violence. Hope we see a positive change. Do stay tuned to Social Pukar for more.
Great article!! Aishwaraya you have touched upon such a nice social issue. Many of us ignore domestic violence. Working women ignore harrasement at workplaces. But I think it is within a women’s power to open her mouth and file a complaint. Sadly the patriarchal society doesn’t give enough room for that…
Thank you!I agree. There are some women who are not even aware of their rights.
WONDERFUL, Aishwaraya! I like the way you articulate facts in ur article and use visuals.
Being a man, I can affirm that a true man would never resort to such inhumanely cheap acts. may God curse cruel men..